Becky Flade, Author

It has been a hectic week.  I got an MRI on my hand, found out I do in fact need surgery, had a horrible run/walk session, had a great run/walk session, fell in step class, forgot my brace at home for a whole day, got picked for a random drug test, had lunch with an old friend and his new wife, booked the hall for my daughter's graduation/18th birthday party, my youngest got her report card...yeah it's been a hectic week but not a bad week. Yesterday a random co-worker, whose name I don't know & whom I doubt knows my name, made a point to spark up a conversation with me, unprompted, just to tell me that I am visibly losing weight.  That definitely perked me up.  And tomorrow I'm going to Buckcherry's first headlining tour.  Really excited about that.  A little bummed I haven't lost enough weight yet to justify buying a new sexy outfit to wear.  I refuse to spend money on clothes for my current, interim weight.  Also, tomorrow morning I've go...

I am normally a fairly patient person.  I've been congratulated and even told that I'm admired for the amount of patience I routinely demonstrate.  But waiting to hear from the doctor on whether or not I need surgery to fix my thumb is driving me fucking bananas and I only got back from the MRI 90 minutes ago, lol!  I don't want surgery cause 1) it'll hurt; and 2) I've no sick or vacation leave to use and can't afford the time off surgery will require; and 3) even if I did, who in their right mind wants to use vacation time to recover from surgery; and 4) I know rehab follows surgery, they havent' said it but I know it; and 5) I know from previous surgical procedures that anesthesia is  NOT my friend.    But even more than I don't want surgery, I don't want a fucked up thumb.  The past week has shown me how important that fat little digit and it's inherent opposability really is.  You don't realize how much you use your thumb, especi...

This was my worst run ever, or at least that I can remember.  I forgot a hair tie and all I had was a plastic jaw clip.  Fine for walking, not for running.  Then it broke and I had all this hot heavy hair laying on skin making me hotter and even more uncomfortable as it bounced around my face.  It landed in my eyes, and even my mouth; at one point it wrapped around my neck like it was trying to strangle me.  I whacked my bad hand on the safety rail.  My hip and knee were angril prostesting the activity.  I never found my groove and it just sucked all around.  I did the minimum I had committed myself to [30 minutes of walk/run intervals] and called it a day.  This is probably the first time since New Year's that I haven't had to suppress the urge to do more, keep going, try harder, push push push.  and the very fact that I didn't mind doing the minimum told me it was a good idea to keep it easy.  Maybe I'm finally learnin...

I am, by virtue of my very nature, chronically clumsy.  Even the simplest of activities are punctuated with the predictable:  Ow, Fuck!  Which is frequently followed by:  How in the hell did you manage to do that??  Of course, I never know exactly how I managed to do whatever it is I did that resulted in another injury.  If I knew how I did it I could recreate it and arguably, have prevented it from happening in the first place.  Some injuries of note:  Sprained ankle playing touch football; smashed ankle from falling off a ladder at work; too many broken toes to count with most recent being from walking up a flight of steps; tripping over gas hose, falling into plate that attractively covers gas cap & breaking said plate off van; falling off treadmill that hadn't been turned on yet... the list is pretty extensive but you get the point.  My newest injury is perhaps the most incredible.  After Wednesday's ...

Did you ever just want to scream but know you shouldn't?  Cry, without reason?  Have you ever thought about just hitting someone below the belt for the sheer satisfaction of knowing they never saw it coming?  And yet no matter what, you keep on smiling all the while deep in the recesses of your mind you are considering hurting as many people as possible in as efficient a manner as possible? If you answered yes to any of the above questions [particularly the last], I welcome you to my club.  I'm calling it passive-aggression for the chronically stupid, a/k/a PACS.  It's difficult to qualify for this club as our standards are very difficult to achieve with any type of consistency.  It takes real dedication to subjugate yourself to the level PACS requires for admission.  We are very elite. Step 1:  Repress all negativity and turn it inwards Step 2:  Always accept blame Step 3:  Always admit defeat Step 4:  Never expect anything ...

Todays blog be very short.

One mile may not sound like much but have you ever tried to run straight on for 1 mile without stopping to catch your breath or rest your legs?  If you are from the Philadelphia area that's like running down the Boulevard from Roosevelt Mall to Nazareth Hospital.  If you're not, picture running around a football field 4 times, cause that's about a mile.  On Tuesday January 11th, approximately 29 days ago, I barely survived an impromptu quarter mile.  Today... I made ONE whole mile without stopping and I felt good when I was done!  I am so extremely happy. 

I’m still riding pretty high on being able to get in my jeans yesterday.   I don’t know if it’s accurate or not but I feel like the slacks I’m wearing today are fitting looser and fuck it, I’m good with it either way.   LOL Took the guided ST again today and did the Jillian Michael circuit thing on Saturday so I’m a little sore all over BUT I can honestly report that I did almost every rep with good form at the stronger weight.   And man was it hard.   Each muscle was burning and shaking by those last few repetitions.   Don’t look now but I think I found my groove. Which for some strange reason, reminds me of the second blog I started:   http://bflade-childrenofcain.blogspot.com/ .   It’s just a place for me to post a running storyline I have had in my head for years now.  

I got home from the gym, put my sweaty ass [quite literal] in a hot shower and then stretched out naked on my bed to relax. The man comes looking for me, finds me and wants to know when we're going food shopping cause he's hungry. Then he looks at me, in a considering way, and says: Baby your tummy is getting flatter. But I dissent: Nah, that's gravity. He tells me: I've seen you lay like that before...believe me when I tell you you're tummy is getting flatter. Now get dressed; I'm hungry. Maybe it was the matter of fact way he said it, or that I didn't prompt the comment at all, but it made me feel so good that he's noticing a difference. Especially when I've been so down about the scale's, until very recently, lack of cooperation. But I got up with a smile & searched for my favorite, and sole, pair of jeans. They are the only pair I've been able to squeeze myself into for months now and that feat requires sucking in, jumping up and...

Just a quick pop-in on Saturday night to let the world (a/k/a my Casey) know that I am down 3.3 pounds this week for a total weight loss of nearly 8 pounds since January 8th. In other words I've averaged 2 pounds per week which is right where I want to be. I'm excited and encouraged; especially since the walk/run program seems to be really working out for me. Not only have a pushed myself into a couple non-consecutive longer runs with a great deal of success but because I've been tracking my heart rate at the end of each run interval and it's getting lower! If you're wondering why that's important, it means my body is adapting and my endurance is building and my cardiovascular is improving. All those things mean that when I do get out and RUN I'll be able to comfortably. And that is more my goal right now than the weight loss. {okay that's not altogether true but not altogether false either, I want both and lucky me, the two go hand in hand!} I...

I have such a buzz after a good workout! My sister-in-law was an athlete in high school. About 5 - 6 Halloweens ago, and after hours of carrying our fat little babies up and down countless steps, hollering Trick or Treat, I was bitching about how tired and sweaty I was. She started telling me about the endorphin high that people get while exercising, working out, running, etc. I thought she was insane cause seriously, who gets happy while they are sweating and panting their way through Dancing to the Oldies? About twenty minutes after we were home and the kids settled down, I got chipper and chatty and my SIL says WTF? Are your endorphins delayed or something? Turns out they are. I get happy AFTER. Today was no different. I busted my butt and while showering after I got super happy. On my way back to my 'cage' I run into my best work bud and she's showering me with compliments. "Damn girl you're looking better already! And stronger. Look at you working out ...

I advised my loved ones yesterday that if I don't start seeing some real progress soon I'm quitting. But I think that may have been an empty threat borne of frustration. It's not just that I want to be thin and healthy; or that my 35th birthday is right around the corner; or that my man is so damn pretty everyone, including my mother & my seven year old, are flummoxed at how I landed him and wary of my ability to keep him; but I realized today that I have a very real opportunity to become a runner again. That realization had a profound emotional effect on me but in order to accomplish what I want, I need to stick with the program. I've been doing the run/walk thing, just two days a week instead of three in honor of the promise I made to myself and my family not to hurt myself by overdoing, and today's was not going great. Five minute warm was bookended with trips to the bathroom. After the second 2 minute run segment, my right shin began to hurt and I suspect...

My first week of exercise, water consumption and reduced caloric intake was a raging success with a 4.6 pound loss. I knew that type of radical loss could be misleading and was primed to expect a slight gain the following Saturday due to some expected bloating. The following Saturday showed a 1.5 pound gain, taking my total loss to 3.1 lbs for two weeks work. When I last used Spark to lose weight, I averaged 1.5 pounds per week, and with my 2 week loss at 3.1 pounds that tracked and I while not happy, I was content. However, last Saturday I weighed in with a 0.5 pound gain; thereby reducing my total loss to 2.6 pounds in 3 weeks time for an average loss of a fraction over 0.8 pounds per week. I'm going in the wrong direction. I exercise at least 30 minutes a day every day. I'm strength training. I'm sleeping right; reducing calories and mainlining water. SO WTF? It occurs to me that, exept the first week, I'm averaging a one pound GAIN per week and at this rate ...

I am an Eagles fan. My favorite player of all time, any sport, any team, is David Akers. He is the highest scoring Eagle of all time in any position. Game after game, season after season, Andy Reid's offense plays with the attitute "let's just get it close enough for a field goal" cause one and all know they can virtually guarantee Akers gaining the three and something is better than nothing. He's gone to the pro-bowl 5x. He kicks hurt, he kicks sick, he takes his job serious and he knows they pin the game on him more often than not. He's been the only consistently reliable player on the team. I wear his jersey. I cheer for him. My kids cheer for him. Andy Reid. God damn, I try so hard to defend that man despite his constant lack of judgment and crappy coaching and I take it on the chin for it from friends, family and foes alike. But the one thing no one could ever disagree with me on, and the one thing that I've always admired about that man, is he's ...